i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
