How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
