i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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