I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
