I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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