you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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