Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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