apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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