she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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