I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
