ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
