I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
