in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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