I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
