You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
