I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
