i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
