I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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