my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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