I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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