You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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