I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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