3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think i have two assholes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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