he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
