Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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