Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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