Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dick very happy bro
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
