U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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