i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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