I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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