I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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