why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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