No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
