her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
