So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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