Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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