He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
