I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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