My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
