Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sext me about skeletons
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
