I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize