It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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