her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
