I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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