: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
