I skipped work to stalk him.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
