at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
