just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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