Heybabeimwearingurpanties
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So squirting runs in the family.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
