they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
