The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
