I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
