Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize