I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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