i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My vagina just clenched in fear
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
