Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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