Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
