I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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