He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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